My problem is their bitching and moaning. For instance, why the fuck does someone like me even know what the corporate tax rate is? The answer is they feel the need to win some sort of public relations game that doesn't actually exist.
They're not happy merely being rich as shit, they want you to feel sorry for them too. Why can't they just take their money, light big cigars on their boats and say "fuck you, we did nothing wrong, it's our money"?
It's as if it's no longer just enough to be right, it's much more important to be wronged.
Tuesday, January 27, 2026
15 Years Ago Today on Xmastime
I dropped this truth bomb about corporations & billionaires that's unfortunately even more relevant today:
Current Events
Just putting this right here for right now:
The only delicious irony will be after years & years of these motherfuckers crying & squealing with rage about Obama coming to take their guns, watching them bow down on their knees begging for approval as they hand their beloved guns over to Trump. - Xmastime, September 2025
Housekeeping
You superfans may have a noticed a marked slowdown in my posting output over the last few weeks. I’ve long realized that anytime a melancholy threatens to take hold of me it’s usually because I’m not working on anything creative, which fortunately or unfortunately seems to be the main key to my own happiness, and my not posting as much is usually an early indicator of this for me. But I seem to be at my normal happiness baseline right now, so my relative lack of posting may be because I’ve spent like 75% of the last month visiting people, which is probably not good for pumping out Xmastime blog posts but probably good for my overall health & well-being, whatever that is. Or maybe it’s because I didn’t make it to 40,000 posts before Xmastime hit 20 years, back in November? 🤷♂️ I don’t know, but don’t worry I’m sure I’ll be back to my normal unasked-for pace of posting soon enough. 😜🕺
Thoughts That Would Wake Me From a Deep Sleep, I
What if it turns out I'd actually love wearing a vest?
The One Thing I Know for Sure About Women
When I saw this pop up the first thing I thought was gee, I wonder how long we'll hafta sift throughout the comments to see the word "Snackwells"...
...and it turns out the answer is "all the way until the second one".
Me, at a Sink with an Automatic Soap Dispenser
“I'm just a guy, standing in front of an automatic soap dispenser, asking it to please hit my fucking hand more than once every five fucking swipes underneath it.”
Hypocrites & Bullshit
HOW 2ND AMENDMENT EVANGELISTS IMAGINE THEMSELVES SHOULD THEY EVER NEED TO RISE UP AGAINST THE TYRANNY OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT:
2ND AMENDMENT EVANGELISTS WHEN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ROLLS INTO THE STREETS OF AMERICAN CITIES AND MURDERS AMERICAN CITIZENS:
Monday, January 26, 2026
State du Moi About 4 Times a Day in the Bathroom at My Office
"I'm just a guy, standing in front of an automatic soap dispenser, asking it to hit my hand with soap more than once every 5 times I wave my have under it."
Brilliant du Jour
I'm not as much of a Back in MY day!" guy as you'd probably expect but "like the NBA draft" hit home in a specific way I can only stand back & applaud. 🤗🤣🤣🤣
Sunday, January 25, 2026
Current Events
Nobody’s ever done more to expose the NRA’s bullshit than Trump, and there’s no close second place.
Saturday, January 24, 2026
Xmastime Has Some Advice for the ICE Protesters in Minneapolis
If I was in charge of the ICE protesters in Minneapolis I’d remind them it’s January in Minneapolis and I would just tell everybody to spray water hoses on ICE; the historical reflective symmetry would be both beautiful and hilarious to witness.
Friday, January 23, 2026
Thursday, January 22, 2026
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Just about 99% of podcasts are terrible but from what I've noticed so far just about 100% of podcast parodies are fucking hilarious.
Wednesday, January 21, 2026
A Few of the Greatest ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES Scenes Throughout the Series, not Counting the Chandelier or Batman & Robin or Bar Fall Scenes
There Is a Rhino Loose in the City Del Boy at his best mix of the hustle & the hilarious, plus everything Uncle Albert says is hysterical too. WAY underrated/overlooked scene in the canon!!
Cassandra’s Had a Miscarriage the single greatest example of John Sullivan’s brilliant mishap of pathos and comedy.
Uncle Albert’s fake surprise you can watch David Jason trying to not lose his shit. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Beam me up Snotty! Of course Del’s bar fall that comes a few moments later is more famous but this one always kills me and is totally overlooked!
"No Rodney, you're nothing like him" Final scene of the final episode when Del Boy tells him the truth about his father I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE OH WAIT THOSE ARE MY TEARS 😭
Gary! classic, fan favorite
Rodney calls to apply for his own job like a total plonker this is just one of this scenes that only John Sullivan could have even thought of, much less written. 👏👏👏👏
Trigger's cousin whiparound story which is another one of those scenes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Okay I hafta stop myself now, there's just too many!
Here's a small scene from Series 5's Video Nasty episode nobody ever mentions, it's not really superfunny or meaningful but it rather succinctly wraps up a lot about Del Boy & Rodney's relationship, and there's something so smooth & impactful about David Jason's performance, with every move & every inflection hitting perfectly.
XMASTIME 20 Years Ago Today
One of my all-time Xmastime favorites of all time, from THINGS ARE GOOD, PART VI:
“That’s right, $10 for me, or $25 for all three of us. No kissing on the mouth.”
Minneapolis 🤯🤯🤯🤯 du Jour
I've been reading Trouble Boys since it came out 10 years ago (my probably brilliant review HERE), and here’s something about how Slim Dunlap joined Replacements after they'd fired Bob Stinson:
Ironically, the person urging Dunlap to go for the job most was Bob Stinson. As they shined First Avenue's floors each day, Stinson would badger Dunlap to try out for the Replacements, occasionally grabbing a mop to mime the licks Dunlap needed to learn.I mean can you imagine sitting at the bar at First Avenue putting down your chicken wings & on your way to go take a piss & you see this scene if front of you?
You Know It (Doesn't) Make Sense, Bruv
Speaking of possible American remakes of Only Fools and Horses, as I just was thank you very munch, I never believed one day I'd be able to watch King of Van Nuys, the 2012 ABC pilot for an American remake starring John Leguizamo and Christopher Lloyd. I've never even watched it myself, to be honest I'm a little scared to - omg what if it's great????
Anyway. Will check back in later with any thoughts if any - in the meantime, there's a ton of info about the remake in the description under the YouTube vid! Enjoy!
🤯🤯🤯 du Jour
I asked my new bff ChatGPT about any American attempts at making Only Fools and Horses (I'd long heard about Steve Carrell trying to develop one but it not happening, and even found footage of what looks like a terrible 2012 CBS pilot with John Leguazamo), but my new bff CatGPT just dropped a bomb on me with this little gem:
Questions About EXTRAS. I Have Them.
As you superfans well know thank you very munch I've LOVE LOVE LOVED Extras since I first started blathering away about it back 2007 and yet somehow it's only this very minute it occurs to me....why exactly didn't Andy cast Maggie on When the Whistle Blows? 🤔🤷♂️
Questions. I Have Them.
Ummmmmmmmm.....dafuck is up with john Mulaney and monkeys?????? 🤔🤷♂️ 🤣🤣🤣🤣
(Also, as I've declared before his Bubbles Jackson thing may be my favorite comedy bit in recent memory.)
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